Thursday, 31 March 2016

Writing portfolio post

Description: this term for writing we worked on stories about camp. They could be informational, entertaining etc. I wrote a piece that would entertain people. I'm still working on the rest of the chapters but this should be good for now. I'm working with Naomi. You should go and see her blog post. Anyway this is my story and unfinished draft.

Adventures With Stampy
Behind Cabin Doors for boys

Chapter 1 my name is

YAY! Kayaking is next, my favourite activity I'm the pro at this, too bad the Uni bully is in my activity group, sigh. I just can't wait to see the tiny squids dancing around in the water. Luckily I brought my gopro with me so I can email Spence and Noah the video since they can't come on camp with us. Oh by the way I'm Joseph Garrett. I'm in university, You also may know me as the great stampylonghead, one of the most famous youtubers. I'm not the most famous, Pewdiepie is and my gosh he is annoying, he is the bully of this university. Hopefully he'll learn at least some manners on this camp. His girlfriend Marzia is one of the kindest people in uni! But Jess is kinder ahhhhh Jess, I have a huge crush on her, like HUGE! She is also a youtuber. She is often referred as aphmau but pewds calls her aphmoo, implying that she's FAT! Rude right? And I think she likes me to! I can't bear to even think about it. Oops everyone's leaving!

Chapter 2 Inked

Life jacket check, go pro check, water proof cam check. OK! I have everything I need for kayaking yay! Insructor Beth ”hello and welcome to kayaking. Is there anyone who has done this before and would like to help me teach?” Ooh me me “okay stampy.” YAY! “ great go and get an instructors paddle please. ”Ok. Pewdiepie ”nerd hahahaha” “what's your name?” “Pewdiepie but you can just call me pewds hottie.” “oh hahahah you are horrible at flirting and shut up, I come from your uni I still go there but for this trip ONLY, I am an INSTUCTOR got it. My name is Beth a.k.a squaishey I'm friends with Joseph and a youtuber.” Woofles “YOU JUST GOT OWNED BY A GIRL,I'M TELLIN MARZIA AND I FILMED IT ALL!” “ nuuuuu marzia will kill me I will Neva bully again i so sorry Beth” 1 hour later…... okay I have got my cam set up 30 mins to teach and 30 mins to set up my underwater live cam. Time to hop into the water on my kayak ahh this is great actually Beth got me thinking what happens in a girls cabin? Maybe...SPLASH  AHH I can't see the squids inked my eyes ohh here comes Jess and Beth together “ come on Jess lets go help him” said Beth “ yeah he's covered in ink” “ hey are you alright?” Says Jess and Beth together u.u.ummm yeah s.s.s.o.omeone p.u.ushed me “ ugh I hate Pewdiepie he calls me fat he is the worst” says jess. Jess could you help me get the ink out of my eyes and turn under water cam off, squaishey can you do that for me please “sure” * looking around for somthing* h.HEY! where has my g.GoPro gone oh no. “ It's okay Joseph I can get you a new one” thanks Jess um is it alright if I call you Aphmau? “ yeah sure but do not call me Aphmoo” no I won't hahaha “ HEY STAMPS! I got your waterproof live stream cam but it's covered in ink, I did turn it off though somehow” I should put my glasses on and wash the camera off ms instructor can I go rest? “ yes you may hehehe” “um by Joseph” said Aphmau.

Feedback: That's a very cool and funny story! It made me giggle! I dont think other people will know all this if they haven't seen squaishey and stampy's and aphmow and other people's videos. It's good you explained it. AbbyY
Feed forward: maybe you could have a page before you start the story about who the mincrafters are for people that don't know. AbbyY

Evaluation: I think this is one of my best story's yet. It will include all the you tubers I love. I think next time I could make the chapters way more interesting 


  1. I really like your story devin. It is umm... Very interestin. I wonder why you copied youtubers. I watch most of those youtubers to. Here are a few of the ones I watch vikkstar123, woofless, pewdipie, stampy, squaishy and KSI ect.

    Your post is super cool I like it.

  2. I'm pleased to have read Abby and Jayden's reflections as I don't watch youtubers! It helped me to get a better understanding of your story! When you say you think that you could make the stories much more interesting, what do you mean? How could you achieve that?